Wednesday, July 23, 2014

I've got to let you go

What do you see when you look at me? Who am I to you? I guess I'll never truly know. I guess you'll never really know who I am. I'm hurt because, you never took the time to get to know me. You always told me right from wrong, but never followed your own rules. We were a burden, we were too heavy of a load for you to carry, you always made that clear. We bled you dry. Your best was never enough and it still isn't. Your intentions as "good" as they were, always fell short. It's too bad that it just didn't work out. 
I've gotta learn to let "things"/"it"/"you"/"them" go. I have to. It's breaking me down, consuming me and wearing me out. I'm tired now and I need a rest. I'll give it to Him, He can carry the load, He said so and He always speaks the truth. His burden is light and His yoke is easy. I'll pray for you until the day I die, it pains me deeply to say that. 
I have to re-learn life/love/happiness and what it means to live fully. He'll teach me, His ways aren't my ways. His ways are higher than my ways. I'm learning to listen to His voice but far better, I'm learning to obey His commands. And so although you will never truly know me or even care to know me, I'm learning to forgive you and I'm learning how to truly love you in spite of everything. 

Friday, June 27, 2014

Let The Games Begin!

Our 1970's summer is about to begin!
Wishing you all a safe & happy summer!

Love & peace,
The Brown Bunch! ❤️

Monday, June 23, 2014

A 1970's Summer

We've (I've) opted to have and enjoy "a 70's summer." I'm sure you've read the post floating around on FB about it. I discussed this with my kids and we've all agreed to put our PS3's & Wii's & MP3's & DVD's and...even my sacred iPhone down for an entire summer! No texting. No video games. No Facebook. Not even Instagram for an entire summer! I have to be honest, I think I'm sweating about this a little more than the kids are;) So this will be my last week on FB until September, when I return I'll have 1000 + 1 pics of our summer to share with you! I'll miss you all very much. I'll soak up every last minute I can this last week! But this little Brown Bunch has vowed to have ourselves a good old fashioned summer. We're taking back the carefree days of the 70's & making them our very own memories. I think it will be fun? I think?! Wish us luck!
(Just to make our "1970's summer" official, Will took a drink from the garden hose just to prove how hardcore serious we are about this!;)

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Dear Jason,

When a gentle warm summer breeze blows, it wraps around me like a soft warm hug and I think of you. When I walk in the woods and I listen to the beautiful busy sounds of nature, my heart is still and I feel your presence. 

Dear Jason,
When the hot summer sun shines and warms the side of my face I'm reminded of your beautiful smile and it warms my heart and lifts my spirit. 

Dear Jason,
This time and space thing never really will heal my broken heart, but my heart does get softer every year that goes by. It's shaping into something that can hold all of the memories and the time and the space and the agonizing, beautiful silence until we meet again...

Until then Dear Jason,
I'll treasure everyday and live boldly and love deeply and forgive often, because I got to know and love you for a short time. 

Dear Jackie,

When I think of the hurt that your heart has endured, I remember to love my children more fiercely. 

Dear Jackie,
The grace in which you've dealt with a loss too terrible for most to imagine, is helping to shape me into the kind of mother I'd like to be. 

Dear Jackie,
You are a Warrior Mama in every sense of the word. The strength in which you raised your son with, empowers & strengthens me to warrior on and keep going even when I feel like I'm in over my head and I want to give up. 

Dear Jackie,
The love that you have for your beautiful son, your family and the world around you, has filled all of our hearts to the brim and we are all better people for knowing you. 

Dear Jackie,
I am proud to call you Auntie. I remember clomping around in your shoes as a youngster, thinking of how amazing it would be to grow up and be just like you. 

June 21st is an amazing day filled with beautiful memories and my heart is so full and so very thankful today. 

June 21st isn't just the first day of summer, it's Woody's day and always will be :) ❤️❤️❤️

Friday, June 13, 2014

Okay So I'm A Certifiable Lying Nutcase!

Remember how I declared that I would snap a picture & write a few words everyday about what I am most thankful for? For 365 whole entire days? Seriously, what's the matter with me?! Remember when I was juicing & vowed to eat 90% macrobiotic???!!! Okay so clearly I am a certifiable lying nutcase! I can't manage to consistently do anything for 365 days straight. I will say this though, no matter what crazy declarations that I make & ultimately fail at one thing that hasn't changed & will always remain is my deep love for The Lord! I can & will vow that I love Jesus more than anything in this world. I am thankful that His constant love & comfort have & will continue to follow me in what ever direction life takes me. I am so very thankful for my growing relationship with Christ, it's the one constant in my life that I can say with certainty will never change.

You wanna know something else?...
He forgives me for being a certifiable lying nutcase! ;)

Do you know Him?  

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Thank God for God!

God is in the business of healing & restoration. It is our job to be honest & trusting of god and allow him to fix all the broken pieces of our hearts. This is like fixing a plate that has been smashed into many small pieces. Allowing god into the broken areas of our hearts with his "crazy love glue" fixes all those broken bits over time. It is a great labour of love. Your job is to trust him. He totally thinks you're worth all the hard work! In the end what we wind up with is far more beautiful than what we started with :)

Friday, April 25, 2014

Meet Frank!

Yowzas! There was no time to adjust to the pain. NO TIME. You came at the speed of light! Thank you God, he's amazingly beautiful!

We are so pleased to announce the birth of Frank Moses Brown. 
He was born on ~April 3rd 2014~ 
at 10:13pm 
weighing 7lbs 1oz. 

God your perfect grace knows no bounds!