Saturday, May 12, 2012

To Surrender or Not To Surrender?


butterfly, forest, mexico, monarch, national geographic, nature


Should I surrender?
Surrender what?
How do I surrender?
Is it good to surrender?
What is surrender?

Definition of Surrender:
  1. To relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand or compulsion.
  2. To give up in favor of another.
  3. To give up or give back (something that has been granted):
  4. To give up or abandon: surrender all hope.
  5. To give over or resign (oneself) to something, as to an emotion: surrendered himself to grief.  
  6. verb (used without object) to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield.


Surrendering for me is giving up control & living only for love, dying to the flesh & living in Christ.  The old me is slowly dying...Sometimes it can be quite painful. Most days it's invigorating to know that a new me is emerging. I really am in a cocoon like state slowly transforming...I will one day emerge into full bloom & become the "butterfly" I was created to be...This is when my eternal self, my true self will be full in Christ. Every day is a new day & each step I take, I am drawing closer to God. Living only for love is not as easy as you may think, it often hurts & it rarely makes sense in a world that quite often contradicts the true meaning of love. Love, the true measure of love is not totally valued here on earth or even completely understood for that matter. I believe that we are eternal beings & I also believe that we are here for the sole purpose to love & to be loved. Not an easy task when we are bombarded with "so much to do & so little time"...I don't believe those lies. I think we believe a lot of "things" that we just shouldn't believe. I don't think that we were ever born for the purposes that our world has conditioned us to believe we've been created for. I think that creation is always speaking to us, striving to converse with us...ask yourself these questions ~ Am I listening? ~ What is God speaking in my life? ~ Who is in control? ~ Do you think that you were born to bare the weight of this world alone? ~ 
One question that a great pastor asked us was ~ "If God created the universe...so vast & so infinite & thought of EVERY last detail from an atom to the cocooning of a butterfly...why wouldn't he also create a way for us to know & reach him?" Were we really created out of some sort of mathematical cosmic science concoction, explosion, star dust, big bang thinga magingy???...I'm no mathematical genius but the odds of that mathematical equation actually happening & creating the entire universe & EVERYTHING in it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE! SO...I've just begun a journey to a place where I don't really know where I'm going to or where I'll end up...but my heart is alive & beating with a fervor that I have never felt before because for the first time in my life I am ALIVE really ALIVE...I guess that really is why they call it "born again" Jesus really does make your heart beat faster! All those questions above, only made me question everything else in my life...My heart knows the truth & the only answer as simple as it sounds is LOVE! & really it's the MOST complicated thing EVER. I choose surrender. Surrender is saying I'm not in control. I need help! I can't do this life deal alone! Why on earth would I be created to bare this burden of life alone??? 
OH what's that God?...I'm not alone???...you're with me 
EVERY step of the way???...you love me??? 
You died for my salvation???...You paid the price for my transgressions??? THANK-YOU! Of course you have a plan, you're the creator of the UNIVERSE!!! What kind of ego would think that the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE doesn't have a plan for us??? 
No wait, God this is really the plan...oh it's not???...
how about this???...not that either huh?...
Oh YOU are in control...I keep forgetting, please forgive me. So daily I mess up & daily I am renewed by the spirit, refreshed in Christ to die another day.

Love,
Tanya

     

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