Sometimes things just don't work out the way we think they will.
I have been praying earnestly everyday for months, I really thought that God had spoken into my heart & had guided me directly to the place where my prayers would be answered.
Sometimes things just don't work out the way we think they will...
Even though I have faith that God knows best, that doesn't mean that my heart didn't sink with disappointment when I found out that my ways aren't God's ways. That is such an abstract concept for me. It's hard to grasp that sometimes even when my heart is in the very right place it doesn't mean that what I am praying for is God's will. Hurtful?...yes. Disappointing?...yes. Heart breaking?...yes.
God is in fact in the business of heart rebuilding/repairing,
so sometimes heart breaking just has to happen in order to repair/rebuild what is broken.
And so I will continue to pray, perhaps this prayer won't be answered in the exact way that I am praying for, only God knows.
With my heart aching, I reached for my bible for some words to soothe...late at night while the house was still,
this is what God spoke into my aching heart:
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
"Ah Sovereign Lord," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."
But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord.
Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant." ~ Amen ~
I went to bed, peace restored in my heart by the words of God. When I woke up this morning my oldest boy asked if he could play his iPod, you know how kids are; before I could even say not right now, it was turned on. Somehow his bible application began speaking, I could not believe what I was hearing; it was the very same scripture I went to bed reading! I knew the very moment I heard it that God was saying: "it's okay Kiddo, I'm right here & guess what?...I know what is best for you & for everyone else too. I love you & I always will. You keep on little one, you are growing stronger in your faith every day....I'm listening. I'm listening. I hear your pleas. I know your heart...I will give you exactly what you need."
Thank-you Lord for your soothing words of comfort & love.